International IMI Sangha offering prayers each day in front of Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s holy body, Kopan Monastery, Nepal, April 21, 2023. Photo by Ven. Lobsang Sherab.

“It’s simply impossible to express how beautiful it is in Rinpoche’s room right now,” Ven. Sarah Thresher shared on her Facebook page from Kopan Monastery on May 4, 2023, two weeks after Lama Zopa Rinpoche showed the aspect of passing away on April 13, 2023. “Kopan has done everything to make it the most extraordinarily beautiful and breathtaking offering for Rinpoche. I hope you all will have a chance to visit in the future and appreciate the love and devotion and majesty of Rinpoche’s mandala. I have watched this transformation over the past two weeks and I’m so grateful.”

We are so fortunate that Ven. Sarah took the time to share what it has been like at Kopan during this devastating and moving time. With Ven. Sarah’s permission, we are sharing some of the detailed reports she has written about how “every inch of Kopan” has been in prayer and service as several thousand individuals have come to pay respects to Rinpoche and process this immense loss. The supportive and kind atmosphere, impeccable coordination and handling of logistics, and the care and detail needed for Kopan to receive and care for hundreds of guests from around the world daily—this effort at a time of losing the guru is something to truly consider and rejoice in. 

We have kept Ven. Sarah’s entries dated so readers can appreciate how the events were being experienced in real time. 

April 23, 2023: It All Happened So Fast! 

I was at Kopan shortly after Rinpoche arrived back from Tsum—having received a cryptic message that it was “very important” I come up immediately. When I arrived at the monastery it was strangely quiet and I wondered around trying to find somebody to talk to—at the same time messaging a friend in Tsum to see if I could get some clues. When I reached the stupa garden I met some people I knew in shock and gradually the truth started to be revealed…

It all happened so fast! Those early hours were confused and the initial days were a time of shock, disbelief and grieving. We didn’t definitively know what had happened that day until the email from Ven. Roger was sent out—so that was roughly the same time as everyone else around the world found out. We knew that Rinpoche had returned from Tsum, there was an emergency situation and the news was bad—but nobody wanted to express the words that would make things clear. We were simply told that “Rinpoche was in meditation… His Holiness says Rinpoche has not yet gone.”

That first afternoon monks gathered for a Cittamani Tara puja in a strangely empty main gompa joined by a handful of Westerners. It was quite surreal—hard to believe this was actually happening. Kopan was full of new people attending an introductory course, which was gradually cancelled as nobody had the will to teach any more.

The second day we began to do Tara prayers at the Chenrezig gompa in English. His Holiness’ immediate advice had been to do Cittamani Tara Four Mandalas. We were still just a few people as many of the usual residents at Kopan were gone. A lot of time those first few days was taken up responding to messages from around the world and encouraging people to come if that was in their heart, even though we had no idea how things would unfold. It was hard to sleep or eat. The mobile phones were “ringing off the hook” and that added to the tension and distress.

Chittamani Tara puja in Kopan Moanstery gompa, Nepal, April 17, 2023. Photo by Ven. Lobsang Sherab.

By the fourth day people from the introductory course had mainly left and Rinpoche’s students were starting to arrive from around the world. By now, we had a full schedule of prayers in the Chenrezig gompa. The day began with Rinpoche’s morning motivation and 35 Buddhas’ prostrations before breakfast, then Lama Chopa Jorcho before lunch, Cittamani Tara Four Mandalas in the afternoon, and Vajrasattva practice with dedication prayers after dinner. Of course there were prayers in the main gompa all day long with the Kopan monks and nuns but everything was in Tibetan and chanted very fast so it was hard to follow. Ven. Roger had requested a program for English speakers as well.

Interspersed with the prayers we began small group sessions for people to share about how they met Rinpoche, what Rinpoche meant to them, how they heard the news, and how they felt going forwards. This was very healing, moving and inspiring. When Osel Rinpoche arrived he agreed to come and talk to us. He told us not to focus on the loss but on the gratitude for everything we had received—then we would always feel Rinpoche in our hearts. It was powerful advice.

The monks and nuns of Kopan were extremely impressive. From the moment Rinpoche entered into the final meditation mandalas, torma, and all the necessary materials were assembled and a rota of shifts manifested so that the prayers in the room next to Rinpoche’s holy body were unceasing day and night. As the days unfolded and more and more people arrived, it felt as if every inch of Kopan was in prayer. Upstairs there could be different groups of tantric monks and high lamas and heart disciples in prayer in the different rooms at Rinpoche’s apartment, while down in the main gompa monks and nuns packed into the space to do extensive prayer sessions and recitations. Outside in the debate courtyard there was tea and snacks for visitors; and groups were coming to do their own very moving practices to pay tribute to Rinpoche. Meanwhile the young monks huddled together to recite mani mantras and we internationals were following our own schedule in the Chenrezig gompa.

Students doing prayers for the swift return of Lama Zopa Rinpoche in the Chenrezig gompa. April 21, 2023. Photo by Capucine
Redon.

It was so moving to see the high lamas who, from their own side, immediately flew in to Nepal to do prayers, the many students from around the world, and masters and disciples from other traditions come up from the valley to pray and practice out of respect for such a great holy being.

Also incredible has been the generous sharing of images of Rinpoche in meditation and livestream of the continual prayers and the tributes and long life prayers, which meant that people all over the world could feel connected to Rinpoche and what was happening here.

Young monks in prayer at Kopan Monastery. Photo by Alison Murdoch.

We are now on the 11th day. The extraordinary abundance of pujas all over Kopan has calmed. Prayers are still held at Rinpoche’s holy body non-stop. Our retreat schedule of prayers for the international students continues and now in the afternoon we split up into three groups: one in the Chenrezig gompa doing Tara puja, one at the Boudha Stupa offering room doing the extensive offering practice, and one that does prayers in English advised by Khen Rinpoche Geshe Chonyi at Rinpoche’s holy body.

We have a routine to facilitate reflection on lamrim as Khadro-la advised, people are being so kind and supportive to each other, and outside caterers make sure we are well fed and nourished. People are coming from around the world for a day, two days, a week, a month, as they wish to pray and pay respect to our most incredibly cherished and kind Spiritual Guide, to make sense of this great loss and reflect on the future. I see people arrive in tears and leave with laughter and a renewed sense of commitment to continue and fulfil whatever advice Rinpoche has given.

My heart aches for those who were not able to meet with Rinpoche. Those of us who did will always cherish our time spent together and the teachings we received. I can only hope that we can communicate some of that extraordinary blessing to others.

May Rinpoche quickly return in a new incarnation to guide us, and may we all continue his most incredible work, complete the projects, abide purely in our commitments, and always be most pleasing to the Spiritual Guide.

May 2, 2023: Twenty Days of Sorrow, Twenty Days of Gratitude

It’s been twenty days now since Rinpoche suddenly left us—twenty days of sorrow, twenty days of continual prayers and practices, twenty days of offerings and twenty days of unending gratitude for having met Rinpoche and all we have received. 

Upon hearing the initial news, many people’s hearts turned to Kopan. The early days were filled with pujas and prayers in every corner of Kopan with many monks and nuns and locals. Then, within days, people were flying in from around the world to pay respect to Rinpoche and gather for prayers and practice. That has been truly inspiring—as Rinpoche used to say before we would offer long life puja, “The prayers the lama does for the disciple have great power and the prayers the disciples do for the lama have great power.”

Kopan senior monks and Lama Gyupas offering prayers in front of Rinpoche’s holy body, Kopan Monastery, April 22, 2023. Photo by Ven. Lobsang Sherab.

Now all that busy-ness has calmed. There is still continual practice at Rinpoche’s holy body by different groups throughout the day and night which is livestreamed for all to share. The Kopan tantric monks do Yamantaka self-initiation early morning, the Thame monks from Solu Khumbu do Chenrezig practice early afternoon, the Westerners do various prayers late afternoon, and the Kopan nuns do Vajrayogini self-initiation every evening. There is also all-day Heruka Lama Chopa Tsog every 7th day with the monks and nuns and lay people coming together. Additionally, people are always welcome to come and offer khata to Rinpoche’s holy body and make prayers and circumambulate as these practices are happening. The mandala house where Rinpoche’s holy body is kept becomes more and more beautiful every day. There are silver bowls and butter lamps, banners and parasols and pennants and silk khatas, pearls and food and incense and flowers all around. The sacred and blessed energy in Rinpoche’s room—the place where in recent years Rinpoche spent most of the time—is palpable.

As things begin to calm, many of the visitors who initially arrived are now leaving and we international guests have trimmed down our “retreat-style” practices to a morning session of Lama Chopa Jorcho and an afternoon session of Cittamani Tara or other prayers with occasional pilgrimages. Those who leave express gratitude for the time spent here—the sharing, the opportunity to be part of this gathering of disciples and the blessing of feeling Rinpoche’s presence, and also the hope for the future.

Last week Yangsi Rinpoche very kindly agreed to talk to us before leaving Kopan—though not to be recorded. It took the aspect—as I perceived it—of a profound sharing from a highly accomplished disciple to us newbies—and I hope its okay to share just a few of my reflections on what Rinpoche said—though not everything.

Yangsi Rinpoche offering prayers at Kopan Monastery, April 20, 2023. Photo by Ven. Lobsang Sherab.

Yangsi Rinpoche spoke about how we should consider ourselves most fortunate to have actually met Rinpoche—as Rinpoche will now take a place in history as one of the great masters. Up to now we have been carried along by Rinpoche’s great compassion and vast enlightened activity, but the free ride is over. Now it’s time to repay that kindness. We owe it to Rinpoche to continue the work he began and particularly to take responsibility for Rinpoche’s main project—to free us from our self-cherishing and self-grasping. Yangsi Rinpoche expressed that yes pujas and prayers are good—but if we can reduce our self-cherishing and self-grasping for even a second it is the best offering and Rinpoche will shower us with flowers and cheesecake from the pure lands!

Yangsi Rinpoche also mentioned that Westerners have a unique karmic connection with Lama Yeshe and Rinpoche. Just as we read about previous buddhas making prayers to benefit different beings at different times, it seems Lama and Rinpoche made prayers to benefit the hippies in degenerate times! There are other highly qualified lamas but we didn’t have the connection with them—it was Rinpoche and Lama that brought us onto the path. Therefore, we have a particular responsibility and owe it to Rinpoche to repay the kindness—to reduce the thought that we are the center of the universe and everything is about me, me, me and instead work for others.

Rinpoche has given us enough teachings for several lifetimes. It’s not necessary to go and find another guru—we already have what we need. Now we owe it to Rinpoche to practice and internalize what we have received. And, as for Rinpoche, he is now everywhere—free from the limitations of the physical body.

Ven. Roger Kunsang giving talk to the International Sangha and students explaining the details around Lama Zopa Rinpoche showing aspect of passing away, April 28, 2023. Photo by Ven. Lobsang Sherab.

Ven. Roger also came one night to talk to us after returning from a meeting with His Holiness Dalai Lama in Dharamsala. He walked us through what had happened leading up to and then on the actual day that Rinpoche left us. It was quite emotional for many of us listening and also not to be shared. There is a video of the meeting with His Holiness now available for all to view and His Holiness clearly says that he will take personal responsibility to check for Rinpoche’s reincarnation—there is great hope for the future.

The prayers will continue here at Kopan until May 31 when many people are expected to join for the final puja. I hope all of you will rejoice and join with us in supporting what the monastery is doing. Thank you.

May 6, 2023: We Wait, We Pray, We Continue—We Try to Repay The Kindness

Outside the Kopan gates people continue to arrive from around the valley and further by taxi, by car, by scooter, by plane, walking—visiting the beautiful mandala that has become Kopan to pay respects to the crown jewel—our most precious lama. They are greeted by the nuns in the debate courtyard at tables with snacks and chai before winding their way upstairs to Rinpoche’s room.

Rinpoche who continuously prayed during his lifetime to benefit those who saw, touched, or even thought about him—continues to do so after passing. He gave his holy body to us while he was alive and left it for us now that he is gone—always showing the most extraordinary activity of a great bodhisattva. I cannot express enough my gratitude to HE Ling Rinpoche for advising us to keep and preserve Rinpoche’s holy body—every atom of which is a pure holy relic. We can also receive and treasure blessed salt from the embalming process as a holy relic. 

Upstairs two nuns are stringing Swarovski pearls flown in from Singapore with local precious stones to adorn Rinpoche’s mandala house. A few days ago the old mandala house was replaced by a new cabinet made by the carpenters and painted by the local artists. There are now silks and brocades, pennants, banners, umbrella, khatas, fruits, flowers, silver bowls, lights, and an extraordinary beautiful display of offerings that adorn the new mandala house. It’s simply not possible to describe the sacred energy in Rinpoche’s rooms where prayers continue to take place around the clock and visitors stream by to pay respect. People will usually sit and join the prayers for a short while before leaving with their choice of photo of different shots of Rinpoche—each one beautiful and printed with the slogans we have come to know and love below Rinpoche’s image—“Live with compassion, work with compassion, meditate with compassion, die with compassion, enjoy with compassion…” “Less desire means less pain…” etc.

The normal schedule for us internationals is relaxed today as we just completed an all-night Tara practice—the Tara Purification Ritual. Tara practice was recommended by His Holiness Dalai Lama within the first hours of Rinpoche entering meditation and this Tara night practice was composed by Rinpoche’s other root guru His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche. We have been doing Tara continuously but last night took the opportunity of the lunar eclipse to stay up and praise, prostrate, make offerings, and circumambulate Tara from sunset to sunrise. It was a special night. The Tara altar was set up in the Chenrezig gompa but people could also circumambulate in the stupa garden where trees of lights offered by Chinese students over the past years illuminate the holy objects—and all of this as Rinpoche’s holy voice sang out the Twenty-one Tara Praises for us to follow.

Light offerings by students at Swayambhunath Stupa, April 23, 2023. Photo by Bec French.

The mood at Kopan is good. So many people have flown in for just a few days and left uplifted. Rinpoche is so present everywhere and of course we feel him at the heart center of the FPMT—Kopan—where it all began. But those who fly in also go on pilgrimage to the other holy places in the valley—the three great stupas, the special White Tara, Pharping and so on—to offer prayers. Some have even made the trip up to Lawudo to sit and pray in Rinpoche’s cave and gompa.

A week or so ago, Ven. Roger gave a talk about the events around Rinpoche leaving us. Nobody expected this or could have anticipated it. It was a last final teaching to cut our habitual concept and clinging to permanence. At the end I asked him about the advice for the future. He replied: “The advice is simple—we continue the work Rinpoche has done. We repay the kindness.”

And so we wait, we pray, we continue. Nobody can take the place of Rinpoche except Rinpoche’s next incarnation. However long that takes, none of us have been left with our hands empty—there are so many projects and centers to benefit others. Over half a century Rinpoche has given so much advice, so many teachings and practices. When Rinpoche returns, instead of having to subdue barbarian and hippie Westerners to bring them on to the path for their own and others’ ultimate benefit, let’s hope we are ready to go. As Rinpoche said at a CPMT meeting some years back—FPMT has not begun yet. There is nothing but hope for the future.

May 11, 2023: Kindness and Support

Yesterday was the fourth week since Rinpoche entered the final meditation. It’s been an intensive time for everyone but there has also been so much kindness and support.

From the beginning Kopan has focused on the prayers for Rinpoche and the guests who come to pay respect and participate. Within days, the monastery was welcoming eminent high lamas including the Ganden Tripa, Segyu Khen Rinpoche Geshe Wangdu, Tengye Rinpoche and senior Gyume tantric sangha; FPMT teachers and lamas, such as Yangsi Rinpoche, Khadro-la, Phuntsok Rinpoche, Geshe Sherab from New Mexico, Geshe Tsondu from Malaysia and Osel Rinpoche; great masters from other traditions such as Chokyi Nima Rinpoche and sangha came up from Seto Gompa, and Dilgo Khyentse Yangsi, Khenpo Gyurme Tsultrim, Lama Lungrig Nyima and sangha came up from Shechen Gompa in Boudha. Representatives have come from major and minor monastic institutions in India and Nepal—Mahayana, Vajrayana, and Theravadin—to pray at Rinpoche’s holy body, sponsor prayer sessions and make offerings to the sangha. And so have politicians and other well-known individuals. The respect shown to Rinpoche—and the support and kindness shown to Rinpoche’s sangha—has been moving and constant.

Khenrinpoche Thubten Chonyi and Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche at Kopan Monastery amidst the continual offering of prayers for Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s swift return. April 18, 2023. Photo by Kopan Monastery School.

Yesterday, the fourth week, was no exception. The Namgyal abbot, Thamtog Rinpoche flew from Dharamsala along with accompanying students to offer prayers at Rinpoche’s holy body and sponsor the full day’s puja. Thamtog Rinpoche was a childhood friend of our own precious lama since they were both disciples of Geshe Rabten at a young age. Rinpoche recalled knowing Lama Yeshe, Rinpoche, and Lama Lhundrup well at Buxa and watching as they traveled extensively spreading the pure teachings of the Buddha and especially of Lama Tsongkhapa all around the world. Rinpoche and Thamtog Rinpoche were close friends and during the puja Thamtog Rinpoche offered consolation to all of us grieving disciples with a moving speech in both Tibetan and English which brought many of us to tears.

Also at the puja yesterday was Serkong Dorje Chang Rinpoche who had flown back from a Wesak teaching event in Pokhara in time to attend. And Tsoknyi Rinpoche, another great lama friend of Rinpoche’s came to Kopan with some Tsoknyi nuns to offer prayers at Rinpoche’s holy body and make offerings to the disciples. As we sat in the puja in the main gompa below, we could hear the beautiful chanting of the Tsoknyi nuns in Rinpoche’s apartment above. How can we ever express enough gratitude to these lamas who show kindness and support to us at this time when we need it most?

Tsoknyi Rinpoche with Khen Rinpoche Geshe Chonyi, Kopan Monastery, May 10, 2023. Photo by Ven. Lobsang Sherab.

It’s impossible to list here all the visitors high and low, famous and unknown, realized and devoted, local and from distant lands, who have come to visit Rinpoche over the past month, pay respects and offer support to the sangha. And it’s impossible to express enough gratitude.

These next three weeks will see an increased influx of visitors to Kopan as students arrive from around the world to pay respects to Rinpoche before traveling to Dharamsala to offer the long life puja to His Holiness Dalai Lama on May 24. This long life puja was Rinpoche’s holy wish and we can fulfil it. After that, the final days of May will see the culmination of the 49 days of pujas and prayers made with strong longing for Rinpoche to swiftly return.

At this time of heightened awareness of impermanence, Khadro-la advised us from the beginning to focus on bodhicitta, to pray to the Guru and to commit ourselves to fulfilling Rinpoche’s holy wishes. As the lamas are showing us—this is a time to honor Rinpoche’s inexpressible qualities and to support each other with kindness.

May 15, 2023: Serving Sentient Beings Is Serving Rinpoche

It’s Saturday night up at Rinpoche’s apartment and there are 30 plus nuns, monks and lay people on the finishing stretches of a four-hour Vajrayogini self-initiation. Some of the participants come night after night without fail, others are visitors or come when they have time. Outside the sky is clear and the lights of Kathmandu Valley twinkle like earthly stars. Inside the little porch area at the back of the main room— where Rinpoche used to take meals, entertain guests and do prayers and pujas—are a few Western nuns seated around the mandala house. There is no more space in the room where Rinpoche’s holy body is located, numbers have to be restricted due to the limited space—but somehow everyone gets accommodated. The wish to participate in these prayers at this special time in this special place is in everyone’s hearts.

Prayers around the clock at Kopan Monastery for Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s swift return. Photo by Alison Murdoch.

It’s close to midnight when Rinpoche’s attendant comes with a tray to clear away our empty cups. About an hour earlier we were offered a selection of drinks, including a sweet and strong milky tea to keep us all awake, and an hour before that they served warm porridge. In between, money offerings were distributed to those doing prayers.

This is how it is up in Rinpoche’s apartment and how it has been 24 hours a day for the last 30 plus days. Pujas are scheduled continually thoughout the day and night, with short breaks for vacuuming, cleaning up and tending to the offerings, and longer breaks every few days to change the salt or rearrange furnishings. It hasn’t stopped. Hundreds of monks and nuns do prayers and pujas and self-initiations at Rinpoche’s holy body from dawn to dusk and dusk to dawn, usually joined by lay disciples who are resident at Kopan or visiting for the day. Sometimes there are several pujas going on at the same time when high lamas or visiting sangha from other temples gather for prayers in Rinpoche’s living room—the VIP space—whilst the regular schedule continues next door. And all the time a stream of visitors pass through the sacred space to circumambulate Rinpoche’s holy body in its magnificent mandala house, touch their heads to his throne, offer a khata and maybe an envelope, fruit, food, flowers or other gifts, and then file back out again collecting a packet of the salt that has touched Rinpoche’s holy body during the embalming process, some blessed torma and their choice of photo of Rinpoche on the way as holy souvenirs. Nobody leaves empty handed.

All these visitors are offered drinks and snacks by the helper nuns downstairs in the debate courtyard as they arrive. And all the participants at the pujas upstairs are offered a variety of drinks depending on the time of day—hot or cold water, sweet or butter tea, juice—along with snacks and money offerings. It’s an enormous amount of work, requiring nonstop coordination and well-calculated logistics.

Rinpoche’s small kitchen—originally built to cater for Rinpoche, a small entourage and guests—has now been transformed to cope with the huge influx of sentient beings that need to be continuously catered for; and the recently constructed lift up to Rinpoche’s room is now transporting visitors unable to manage the stairs and an endless supply of provisions for the visitors.

I ask the young monk on the night shift at Rinpoche’s apartment how many people pass through daily to pay respects to Rinpoche and he tells me that things have calmed down now to around 50/60 but in the early days it was hundreds and thousands each day for days at a time. Like all mature Kopan monks and nuns he has been offering service since the beginning in addition to his normal schedule of study. He’s enrolled at the Kopan tantric college and not yet 20, but I can see from his appearance that he is kind, patient, responsible and a good human being. He also speaks English well.

This is how it has been at Kopan since Rinpoche went into meditation. So much work, so many things to to be done, so much to be organized. Rinpoche has kept everyone busy with very little time to pause and be sad. There were pujas to be done, high lamas and visitors to be cared for, guests arriving and also a long life puja to be organized for His Holiness the Dalai Lama—in itself an enormous undertaking! Can you imagine?

Lisa Gray, Ven. Namdrol, Paula Chichester, Ven. Sarah Thresher, Nick Ribush, Alison Murdoch, Sushil Grg; Dharma friends following prayers for Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s swift return, May 18, 2023. Photo courtesy of Ven. Sarah Thresher.

Pujas require drinks, food for the participants, torma, offerings, monetary distributions (which means piles of cash notes in Nepal!), texts and on and on. Truckloads of supplies have wound their way up the Kopan road every day and, during the most intense period, a caterer had to be brought in to provide the meals. Every visitor must be cared for. It was not just the Kopan monks and nuns doing prayers, but also sangha and lay people from all over the valley, all over Nepal, India and the world—as overseas visitors flew in from South East Asia, Mongolia, Australia, New Zealand, the Americas, and Europe.

It’s now past midnight and the Vajrayogini puja has come to a close. Outside, a group of young monks is waiting patiently for us to leave so they can begin their two-hour prayer session. Everything is well timed. Before they can enter the room it must be cleaned again and I watch as another of Rinpoche’s attendants vacuums up and down for the umpteenth time today to prepare it. Nearly 12 hours earlier I saw the same attendant at the Chenrezig puja—chanting, offering tsog, showing visitors around the mandala house and directing them take packs of holy salt and a photo as they left the room.

Watching all of this unfold over the past days and weeks, I’m reminded how Rinpoche would always teach that serving sentient beings is the best offering to all the Buddhas. All this service, all this devotion, all this sacrifice—I think Rinpoche would be very happy with how his monks and nuns have stepped up and taken responsibility. Yes there is sorrow and heart-break, yes there are times when the emotions are overwhelming and tears flow, but the work has to continue. That is what Rinpoche would want. And as we pray for Rinpoche to return, serving others is how we embody his teachings and keep them alive.

Ven. Sarah Thresher is an English nun who graduated in 1982 and met the Dharma in Kopan shortly afterwards—taking refuge with Lama Thubten Yeshe. She worked many years as an editor for Wisdom Publications and Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive and has also taught at centers around the world. She ordained with His Holiness Dalai Lama in 1986. For the past five years she has been living in different locations in Nepal.