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Lama Zopa Rinpoche and Khadro-la offering prayers at one of the Ashoka Stupas in Patan, Nepal, December 2021. Photo by Ven. Roger Kunsang.
When people or situations disturb our minds, it’s an opportunity to notice how well—or not well—we are practicing Dharma. For example, does our mind become angry or do we have compassion when someone makes a mistake or hurts us? As Lama Zopa Rinpoche advises, if we have anger, then we should direct our attention to seeing that anger as the enemy and not the person who we think caused it. In fact, we should be grateful to that person for giving us the opportunity to further develop our Dharma practice.
Here is an excerpt of Rinpoche’s teachings on this topic from “The Time to Practice is Now,” a detailed summary of the 2020 Thought Transformation Teachings given by Rinpoche. Then following the excerpt is a short video of Rinpoche teaching on this topic.
Happiness or problems are in our control, Lama Zopa Rinpoche says. It depends on whether we think in a positive or negative way. If we think in a negative way, mountains of problems arise, resulting in losing our appetite, not sleeping, and even committing suicide. To the contrary, if we avoid anger, there is no enemy in the world. So in that way, it is up to us whether or not we have enemies. To help us develop patience, Rinpoche offers several methods we can use to change our way of thinking to help us overcome our anger and remain patient when others treat us badly.
Instead of getting angry at a person for making mistakes, we can think that it is ignorance that is causing their actions. Instead of thinking, “That person is bad,” we can think, “I need to help that person, especially to reduce their ignorance.” We can also remember their kindness instead of focusing on their mistakes. Then we can have compassion for the person instead of anger.
When a mosquito is buzzing around us, or someone harms us, we can use this as an opportunity to examine whether or not we were really practicing Dharma when we recited many mantras and prayers and have done many retreats. For example, when someone is angry, scolding, or disrespecting us, we can see whether or not we are practicing Dharma by how much we can dedicate our merits for that person. We can also check whether our mind is kind and compassionate and we generate patience or forgiveness, or we get angry and want to harm them.
Rinpoche suggests that instead of getting angry at our present situation, which causes us to be reborn in hell and is the heaviest suffering in samsara, why don’t we get angry at the anger? Our real enemy is the anger. The anger is not outside, not coming from those who harm us; it is in our mind. Do we want to be reborn in hell and suffer? The answer is no. What causes that is anger. So, logically, we must give up anger.
Obstacles, disturbing situations, undesirable conditions—all persuade us to practice virtue. Therefore we need to complete the paramita of patience to achieve enlightenment. Someone who treats us badly is our practical teacher of patience, our practical guru of patience. Only the sentient beings who harm us and get angry at us, the ones we call “enemy,” actually help us to practice the paramita of patience and put into practice the teachings we have received. By practicing patience we can overcome anger and not only achieve liberation from samsara, but achieve enlightenment, the infinite qualities of the holy body, speech, and mind of a Buddha, with which we can do perfect work for sentient beings. By thinking in this way, we can see that this person who is our “enemy” is actually unbelievably kind and incredibly precious in that they help us to achieve enlightenment. How kind they are!
From our own side, we can practice rejoicing when someone harms us; but from the side of the other person, they should practice self-discipline. Because we are practicing rejoicing at the situation, it might look as though that other person can do whatever they wish, including harming us. Rinpoche clarifies, it is not like that. If their behavior is harming others, that person should stop doing it. However, while we can’t control what someone else does, we can control what we do. By rejoicing and keeping a happy mind, our body and mind remain relaxed and comfortable. By practicing self-discipline and contentment, we can bring peace to the world rather than being like a firecracker— full of anger and jealousy.
In this video clip, Lama Zopa Rinpoche explains how the person who harms us, who criticizes us, who is angry with us, our enemy, allows us to complete the practice of patience and achieve enlightenment. No one else, not our friends or strangers, gives us this precious opportunity. By practicing patience and overcoming anger, we can achieve the infinite qualities of an enlightened being and do perfect work for sentient beings. Therefore, our so-called enemy gives us skies of kindness. We can’t repay this kindness by offering them the sky filled with dollars or wish-granting jewels. We can’t even repay their kindness by offering them the whole world. Their kindness is unbelievable.
Read the transcript of this video extract from Rinpoche’s teaching:
https://fpmt.box.com/s/tqjstohvj6dcyh0c1xph6k9z3r513hkk
You can find more blogs with short video clips from Rinpoche’s teaching as well as the complete collection of these “Essential Extracts” videos on FPMT.org.
Lama Zopa Rinpoche is the spiritual director of the Foundation for the Preservation of Mahayana Tradition (FPMT), a Tibetan Buddhist organization dedicated to the transmission of the Mahayana Buddhist tradition and values worldwide through teaching, meditation and community service.